I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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