so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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