I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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