grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
