Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
