My nipple is on Facebook.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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