Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
