AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
