I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
