i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
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just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just want to make out with him forever
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We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky π
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