white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
