your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
