Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
