If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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