I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
