His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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