At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
