So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
