Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
