his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
