there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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