My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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