If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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