Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
