apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
