I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
