Sry I called you an 8
plz talk dirty to me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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