So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When did angry sex become our thing?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
