So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
