He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
