there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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