Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
