kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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