My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
