got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I think I just sharted jello shots
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
