we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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