So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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