YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize