Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
