those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
