dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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