I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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