thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
