so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize