a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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