Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
