So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
