We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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