Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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