Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
