apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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