I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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