it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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