Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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