Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Help. Why am I so naked?
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